Boundaries

Why has the idea of establishing boundaries turned into a negative concept? If you hear the term boundary and immediately think of yelling, screaming, shaking a leadrope vigorously, or any other action towards a horse that you implement from a high emotional state, then perhaps you don’t fully understand the concept of boundaries, what they are, and how to implement them in a way that makes the horse actually feel better. 

Boundaries provide structure, clarity, safety for all involved, and when established correctly they actually increase connection. I relate so much about horses to my work with kids, because it just makes sense to me. In my preschool classrooms, we establish rules and clear expectations for kids. We also intentionally teach kids what the rule is, what they need to do to follow the rule, and then we help them practice! Rules provide a framework for kids to understand exactly what is expected, and this helps them feel safe, connected, and confident. 

Horses are no different. Boundaries are not some ugly thing we impose on the horse. Boundaries help us teach the horse how we want them to be, while we also uphold what they can expect from us. Boundaries provide a clear way for horses to understand how we can be together. As I’ve worked harder to establish clearer boundaries that actually benefit the horse, I’ve been able to help horses have increasingly confident and peaceful interactions with me. I’ve helped horses who push, disregard, bite, rear, and whirl away come back to a place where they can move more fluidly and peacefully with me. 

Don’t give up on the idea of establishing supportive boundaries. Instead, find someone who can help you gain confidence with understanding boundaries.